Rodento Drive

The new Lucas Oil Stadium has wowed fans with big windows, a beautiful brick facade, and several new amenities. However, apparently what's out-of-sight of the patrons is becoming a problem.

Health inspectors cited over 500 food/safety violations including discoveries of mouse mice meese poop feces. Investigators found the droppings in kitchen and storage areas, including an oven, along with many live mice in the area. The Health Department is sending more people out this weekend to determine just how big of a problem they have at Lucas Oil Stadium. Supposedly, they're going to set up mouse traps and see how many they kill. Awesome.

Considering I've eaten media food at Lucas Oil Stadium on at least eight different occasions during various events, I'm not feeling great about this news. I had a chili dog there last week. If there is a food where mouse droppings would hardly be noticeable, wouldn't it be chili? (Pauses to throw up).

There's a hot dog stand for $3 under the bridge on East Street leading into the stadium. It's shady. The last two times I've walked by it, there's been a guy with like three teeth on a rusty bike doing circles around the stand, and another homeless guy sitting on a milk cart singing show tunes five feet away. Sure that's dirty, but at least I know that it's dirty. I'm not misplacing my trust. It's not a mouse crap chili dog on a plate with parsley on the side, and a sparking water to drink.

I won't touch even a potato chip at Lucas Oil anymore.